Don’t Drink the Water
Boys will be boys. How many times have I heard or used that phrase in my lifetime? Exponentially more so as a parent. Little boys like mud, bugs, animals, teasing little girls, sports, tackling things, kicking things—the list goes on. Just yesterday Zoë ran into the house to let me know about the mouse in the yard. They had tried in vain to get Ariel, the cat, interested in chasing the thing but she wouldn’t. The mouse was just sitting there.
I came outside just in time to stop Zane’s outstretched arm from picking up the–not mouse but–huge rat that somehow found it’s way into the yard and had decided to park itself under the bird feeder as it was providing a ready source of food.
Dear Lord, Zane! Don’t grab that! That thing will gnaw your arm off!
It was huge! Half the size of Ariel. No wonder she wasn’t interested. She was scared to death!
Suffice it to say that Mr. Rat has supped for the last time at our bird feeder. Zoë was repulsed at the rat’s demise. Zane thought it was cool. Boys will be boys.
And just today…..
Zander, whatever you do…..don’t drink out of this cup. (Zane to his little brother.) I just peed in it.
What?? I yelled from the other room.
Zane enters the living room holding the aforementioned cup in his hand, clearly the vision of a boy who has done wrong and knows it–only for he has been caught.
Zane!
Yes.
You peed in a cup?
Yes.
You peed in a cup you picked up off of the floor in the basement?
Yes.
You peed in a cup you picked up off of the floor in the basement that was lying 3 feet in front of the toilet?
Yes.
If I ask you why, will you be able to give me an answer?
I don’t think so.
Well, at least he warned his brother. It could have been worse. Much worse.
I think you know what I’m talking about.
Yes, at least he warned him – gross gross!
I came here from that blog in the UK with the hiking man. I was surprised to find myself back in the gool ole USA. I might need a good meal because of all the traveling I been doing. It was real nice to find your blog.
I know what you mean about boys. My six are a handfull. One day I found them out in the back field trying to get that city boy from up north to pee on the electric fence. I stood there for awhile to see what would happen but the kid had bad aim. I think that would have been as funny as the time they put a pig in the outhouse!
Boys will be boys!
The rat? GROSS. I don’t even want to know how it meet it’s demise, thanks for not sharing that portion of the tale.
And the cup?
You could not make this stuff up! Hilarious and you will have to file that away for a good wedding story. I am sure his future wife will find it very amusing
That reminds me, any lemonade stands this summer?
And later this afternoon he was trying to teach his little brother how to pee on a tree in the yard. Good kid!
Oh, I can recall a few childhood stories that involve electirc fences. I, too, had poor aim. My brother, unfortunatley did not.
Truer words, my friend. Truer words!
I’m pretty freaked out about the rat. We had plenty aound the trash bins and sewer drains when I lived in the city. This is my first, and hopefully last experience with a country rat.
And you’re right, I can’t make this up! All I’ve got to do is sit back and observe–there’s more blog fodder here than I could ever hope to remember.
The ice melts a little too quickly but they’re gonna offer free refills.
“You peed in a cup you picked up off of the floor in the basement that was lying 3 feet in front of the toilet?“
Like someone didn’t say the same thing to you when you were 20. Ok, substitute “cup” for “beer bottle” and you get the point.
I do seem to recall a tennis ball can rummaged in the middle of the night from the closet in my brother’s room, the door of which was not 3 feet from the door to the bathroom. Good times!
Um. I don’t want to alarm you, or anything, but, um, you may need to call an exterminator. What’s with all the rodents?
Yes, I am glad I have a daughter
The scariest part for me in all this, is that I can completely imagine similar scenes playing out in my house in a couple years. Well, actually the rat thing I could see right now. Only we, fortunately (at least so far), have never seen a rat in the yard, only a wild turkey that hangs out under the bird feeder on a regular basis.
The pee in a cup thing, though, I can totally see my son doing in a couple years. Only he probably wouldn’t warn his big sister.
Funny stuff (mainly because it happened to you and not to me…hee hee)!
I’m trying to hide my concern as well. I’m OK with the chipmunks, squirrels, rabbits, an occasional field mouse (hate the moles!) but the rat is freaking me. I don’t do rats.
Oh, I would have blown a gasket had he offered the elixir instead of a warning.
And thanks for the sympathy–I think!
I just love it!
It’s the absurdity of these events that I can’t wait for.
I think you called it correctly–absurdity. Were it not so absurd I would probably spend the majority of my days curled in the fetal position trying to find a happy place.
Reminds me of the time I discovered the kids had been using the potty chair stored in the closet… Ew.
Oh, my! I can only imagine the lovely odors in there.
That. Is. Hysterically funny! I love your question to him about your question. Sweet.
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