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The behavior chart is a daily exercise.  The squares of the calendar weekdays are filled, always green. A monochromic reminder that the boy is for all practical purposes–good.  These are things I know.

The sheer repetitiveness of the drill makes it easy for me to gloss over, to ignore it’s presence in the reams of paper that are couriered to and from the schoolhouse.  But like a trained monkey, I initial each square, occasionally offer a few words of praise and place the paper back in the folder.

I can’t imagine having to address behavioral issues with Zane at school.  Sometimes, though, I secretly long for variety, a different hue in the seas of green.

Careful what you wish for.  I’ve heard that before, but where?

Oh yes, it’s in my byline.

Yesterday’s behavior chart was alive with color.  Greens, yellows and reds.  Red is the really bad one.  Shocked (though smiling on the inside), I asked for an explanation.

In return I got a sullen face and silence.  He knew but wasn’t saying.  I asked again.

Nothing.

I seem to recall accusatory words like, “you know” and “your silence is the same as lying.”  There were other words, words with consequential meanings attached.  Words like “you had better” and “time to think.”

I don’t care about what he did at school or what happened.  I really don’t. I know if it was really egregious, I would have received a note from his teacher.  There was none.  It’s all benign stuff and typically classroom unruliness, the exercise is designed for the kids to gauge their own behavior on a daily basis and own up to it.  They fill out the chart.

What bothers me is his unwillingness to stand up and tell me what he did.  To do the right thing.  He said he can’t remember.

He’ll have plenty of quiet time to clear his head when he gets home.