There is a Fungus Among Us
Actually, it’s a virus. It’s the kind of virus that thrives on exposing partially digested stomach contents to ambient air or putrid liquefied bowel to a toilet. Or underwear, whichever comes first. The virus in non-discriminatory and has spared no one in it’s wake.
Maura has said that it is all she has been seeing at work for the past week. Is it wrong for me to blame her for it’s appearance in our home? Seems only fair.
Brings up a point of contention though. What could possibly possess a person, I mean what triggers in their mind to connect an episode of vomiting to a hospital visit? I just don’t get it. I remember working triage sitting at the desk when a frantic parent would rush in at 3:30 in the morning exclaiming, “He’s vomiting!” Now don’t get me wrong, the inability to hold down any form of sustenance for an extended period can have deleterious effects and could certainly require some form of medical intervention.
My question to the parent was always, “How many times has your little wimpy kid thrown up?”
“Well, just the one.”
“So your actual complaint is he vomited not he’s vomiting. Big difference on the scale of I could have just cleaned his face with a cool rag and gone back to bed versus holy hell let’s share our misery (and stupidity) with the rest of the community and rush out to the emergency room at 3 o’clock in the morning!”
It takes compassion to be a nurse, people. It’s not for everyone.
My little triage memory also brought to mind an oft quoted phrase (by me) when the parents in the emergency room began their little litany of complaints about how tired they were or how they had to be at work in the morning or woe is me blah, blah, blah…
Sometimes it sucks to be a parent.
That one has come back to bite me more times than I am able to enumerate. Like say during our little bout with the aforementioned virus. My appointed task during these times of illness is night watchman. Generally, whomever is ill gets a nice comfy spot on the couch and I get to contort myself into what no one in their right mind would consider a comfortable sleeping position in the chair beside them. Ever vigilant, listening for that little moan or lip smack that foreshadows the inevitable.
My job then is to scoop up said purger and rush them to the bathroom thereby avoiding unnecessary linen changes and midnight clean-ups. Repeat as necessary.
Sometimes you have to think on your toes though. For instance what happens if your little purger happens to be in the middle of the National Air Force Museum and there is not a restroom or trash can in sight? You’ve got to act quickly, use your head.
Or hat.
Yeah, that’s right. I let Zander puke into my favorite Notre Dame hat in the middle of a museum. The whole time his poor little body was retching I just kept saying to myself, “Sometimes it sucks to be a parent.”
That and, “Damn! I really liked that hat.”
Ick. I am scanning over most of the details of this post because I have a sensitive stomach…
But I just wanted to wish you and yours a Happy Holidays. I do hope that’s still the case after reading what I could. Take care.
Maureen´s last blog ..The Miracle of Christmas
Ed Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:17 pm
And a Happy Christmas to you as well. I believe we are all on the mend and Christmas is looking brighter.
Heroic!
Martin´s last blog ..Was Madonna Dutch?
Ed Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:17 pm
I know you’d do the same, man!
I hate it when my kids get sick, but I hate it even more when the eldest comes in from a night out and is self-inflicted sick from too much wine/insert random other alcoholic drink here.
And its usually about 3am when she comes in and does that, so I awake and I sit up in bed and count the minutes from when I heard her go into the bathroom until I hear her come out again, then I can breath easy and go back to sleep.
My hypocritical lectures on the evils of alcohol the next morning have to be heard to be believed…
Gary´s last blog ..The christmas do…
Ed Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:20 pm
I have not reached the levels of self-induced illnesses. I only hope that when that time comes I’ll be able to just sit in bed and hold my tongue. Somehow, I feel I’ll also be monologuing with some hypocritical lecture.
The image of puking into the Notre Dame cap was the highlight of this post for me.
Darren´s last blog ..(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: Happy Holidays
Ed Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
What do you have against Notre Dame?
Lovely. But I’d rather hold puke in a hat, I think, than clean it out of a car seat. We did that this weekend. We’ve only ever had to do that one other time so far. I’ve put that on my “Things I’m Thankful For” list. Bleh!
MGM´s last blog ..Moment of Truth
Ed Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
It’s not the car seat that gets me as much as when it gets all the way into the buckles. Ug!
Somtimes it sucks to be a parent. And it starts with the first time I puked into a lunchtime tupperware container on my way home from work while I was pregnant with the first…
So sorry about your hat though.
Shawna´s last blog ..NaBloMoPo
Ed Reply:
December 28th, 2009 at 10:00 am
I certainly hope you packed a large lunch. Otherwise, that could have been a very messy situation.