Little m Long a

“You got a budget?  I mean, where do you want to be?  Give me a number here.  You know,  something to work with.”

I did.  He glared at me.  “You asked.”

He sighed heavily, and picked up his calculator and commenced to cyphering.

I suck when it comes to negotiations.

Seriously.

I suck.

I was talking with one of the other mothers at school (Not that I’m a mother, because I’m not.  I’m actually a father.  I suppose I should have said, I was talking with one of the other parents at school.  That would be more correct.) and she lamented the fact that she does not have a decent camera.  Actually, she relayed the chastisement from her children who had recently informed her, “Mom, do you realize that there are no pictures of your middle child?”  It was a sad story.

“I’ve got a camera at home.  I never use it.  It’s old, but it takes great pictures.  I’ll give it to you.”

“Ed,” she said, “that’s not how the negotiation process works.  Give me a number.”

“OK.  How about $20.  And I’ll throw in a couple of memory cards, a USB card reader, a charger and I may even have a bag.”

“You really suck at this!” she told me shaking her head.

There are plenty of other examples.

Back to my conversation with the man in my driveway.  Somehow, some way, when he asked me for a number I shot him one without blinking and with a tone that said, “You know what, I’ve really thought about this and this is what I can do.  Period.”

I watched as he entered numbers, mumbling to himself all the while.  He made notes and punched the calculator.  He scratched his head.  I avoided eye contact and tried not to fidget.  After what seemed an eternity, he sighed heavily and said, “I can’t do it.  But I can get to within $500.”

“Seriously??”  I tried not to sound shocked.  (Or to squeal like a school girl clearly telling my hand.)

“And I get to put a sign in your yard,” he added.

“Fair enough,”  I said.   “I’ll get back to you.”

So maybe I’m getting better at negotiations.

Oh, and by the way — I’m walking across England this summer and I’d appreciate any support you could throw my way.  No amount is too small.  Well, except maybe for zero.  Zero is pretty insignificant and unless it’s accompanied by well wishes and good karma doesn’t really count.

So then,  no amount greater than zero is too small.  Unless, of course, there’s the karma and good wishes — then it’s OK.

(I also suck at fund raising.)