I Pre-Disastered My Monday — Bring on the Week

Grocery shopping with kids in tow is always a slippery slope.  You never really know what type of behavior they’re going to demonstrate until you’ve entered the confines of the building and even then it’s a crapshoot.  Things can go from good to bad depending on the aisle.  I’m not above offering rewards for good behavior though I generally tend to avoid the issue altogether.  It’s an arrangement for fools.  The kids know that they can get away with murder unless you are willing to offer up a ransom — a cookie, drink, candy.  Exactly what a mongrel full of destructive energy should be receiving — more energy!

“What do we get if we’re good?”

“Why don’t we talk about what you don’t get if you’re good?”


“How about if you’re good you don’t get a beat down in front of God and everybody else in this store.  Now straighten up or I’ll leave you for dead with all the rest of the rotting bananas on sale for 39 cents a pound!”

(For the record, no it doesn’t work.  I am but a grasshopper and they are the ants clearly having realized that their strength is in numbers and I am powerless against their will.)

We stopped at the grocery yesterday on the way home from church.  A quick trip for just a few essentials:  the deli counter, bread, fixings for lunches throughout the week, apples, bananas, clementines.  Unfortunately, when you’re shopping for five kids, it’s rarely a quick trip and even more rare that it’s just a few essentials.  We’re always out of something.  Kroger is my WalMart and I seldom leave without having dropped a Benjamin.

The basket filled quickly.  Almost as quickly as my frustration at having to reprimand five unruly children every three minutes for a solid 45.

I put the last few items in the cart and made our way to the checkout.  It was only then, as is often the case, that I realized I had forgotten something.  I excused myself from the line, turned with my cart and made my way back into the aisles.

I put the peanut butter back where I had gotten it  along with the jelly.  I returned the bread and hamburger buns.  I returned the ground beef and the clementines.  I retraced the painstaking steps I had just made systematically emptying the cart of its contents much to the bewilderment of the kids.

I had forgotten my wallet!

So guess what I get to do today?





And no, the picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post.  That’s just how I roll.

  6 comments for “I Pre-Disastered My Monday — Bring on the Week

  1. Mar 21, 2011 at 11:34 am

    LOL-just had to laugh at your pain becuase it is oh so familiar.

    • Ed
      Mar 23, 2011 at 7:50 am

      Funny thing is, I had told my son not 30 minutes prior that he couldn’t put money in the offeratory plate because I had left my wallet at home.

  2. Mar 21, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    Been there. Fortunately I live “2 minutes” from our nearest supermarket so I tend to leave it all behind the counter and return as soon as I have managed to herd the kids home and back (which takes much longer than 2 minutes).

    • Ed
      Mar 23, 2011 at 7:51 am

      Unfortunately, we’re 20 minutes away.

  3. Mar 22, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    Been there. It’s even more of a nightmare when you’ve already loaded up the belt and the cashier has started ringing you up. Oh, and there’s a long line of grumpy people behind you. Fun times.

    • Ed
      Mar 23, 2011 at 7:52 am

      I have to admit, I’ve rung up an entire cart in the past only to realize I didn’t have my wallet. That was fun!

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