It’s funny how certain things, things that have been in your possession for years, things that had no particular significance when they came into your being other than that they just were, can all of a sudden hold deep meaning. Importance. Relevance.
This is bigger than me. And it’s bigger than my level of comprehension or understanding. I’m not so sure I’d want it any other way. I suppose in a way, it’s good. In order for it to have appeal there has to be an element of intrigue, of mystery. It’s what drives me and pushes me on. It’s what makes me ask. It’s what makes me care.
Truth be told, it’s bigger than all of us—still, all good.
It’s easy to become so totally absorbed in the holiday season that we lose focus, the ability to just step back for a minute or two and ask ourselves why are we doing all of this? Bows, ribbons, packages, cards, lights, trees, family get togethers, Christmas carols and music programs…….Really? What’s our motivation? What’s it all about?
Originally posted 12/24/2007. Regardless of the hectic and trying nature that is the Holiday Season, I shall never tire of this classic. I appreciate each year the focus Charlie Brown provides me. The simplicity is warming, reassuring and just what I need when it seems that the season is slipping from my control.
Merry Christmas and Peace from all of our family to you and yours.
Zoë and her mother spent the better part of last evening looking at dresses. They oohed and ahhed over each new find noting differences and similarities in the ones that they liked. An innocuous exercise on the surface yet shockingly harsh in it’s reality. Painful in it’s intents as I came to realize that try as I may, I am powerless. I attempt to control, to steer, to guide, to shape, and to mold the lives of my children with a vision of what I believe to be good and honorable. I instruct and chastise, comfort and soothe. As a parent, I am provider and a source.
Yesterday I came to realize the infinitesimally small amount of control that I actually have. Time has far more power and I am defenseless to it. Whether or not I am ready, my children are growing up. You see, yesterday evening Zoë and her mother spent the better part of two hours looking for a First Communion Dress. The harsh realities of the situation humbled me. It has also inspired this week’s Sunday Sonnets.
I Seek Simplicity
Like it or else, time does wait.
Our children grow though we resist.
Their minds ever expanding as the world
In which they live continues to grow smaller
Objects become concepts and pat
Answers are no longer acceptable as
Explanation of the ordinary.
My kids are growing up.
Haughty, my spirit is lifted as once
Impossible tasks are now ordinary.
Rudimentary conversation is replaced
With provocation and depth.
Time matures us, teaches and molds, not me.
I long for the comfort of simplicity.
Five minutes, maybe longer. That’s all I took, honest. After breakfast this morning I took just a short constitutional to the family library. Don’t be impressed. Remember the little hovel of a bedroom that Harry Potter had under the staircase in his uncle’s house? Yeah, think that but smaller. It’s got a light, a lavatory and a seat that is quite comfortable and best of all the door locks. It’s one of the few locking doors in the house. This morning’s read, a magazine or sales flyer, back of a tissue box, whatever else may be within arms reach and a cup of coffee. Five minutes. Then I would be off to the tasks of the day. My list was quite extensive and there would be little time for dilly dally.
The twins, had other plans.
This was not on my list today. Are they trying to tell me something?
In other news….The Lenten Season begins tomorrow. Ash Wednesday. As is tradition in the Catholic faith, or so I’m told, Lent represents the 40 day liturgical season of fasting and prayer before Easter the purpose being preparation through prayer, penitence, alms giving and self denial. It represents the 40 days that Christ spent alone in the desert fasting, praying and enduring the temptations of the devil. Throughout history the season of Lent has been one of tightly held traditions. For the non-Catholic I’m sure it brings to mind little more than the phrase, “So, what are you giving up for Lent?”, the exact question I posed to my children this afternoon.
Zoë, after giving the matter considerable thought decided to give up candy and sweets. More discussion among the kids and Zane eventually relented.
“OK. I’ll give up candy, too”, he said.
“So, Zia. What are you going to give up for Lent?” I asked.
(Long pause.)
“I’m going to give up…….
TOOTHPASTE.”
It’s going to be a long 40 days.
