Little m Long a

It took just a few minutes to orient myself and I quickly ushered the kids to the children’s section of the library.  For some strange reason, the children’s section is located in a far back corner of the building.  Hmmm.  Anyway, it was filled with all manner of neatly arranged books, puzzles, assorted building blocks, a few stuffed animals, kid sized table and chairs and a very small play area.  I must admit that it was quite a bit more than I was expecting.  It took the twins no time to feel comfortable, they quickly sized it up and began systematically dismantling the entire area.  I made several attempts to have them sit quietly as I read to them from the assorted board books.  They were having nothing of it.  This area was way too organized for their liking.  Disorder was missing and clearly something they felt the area needed immediately.

I noticed a sign upon entering the area that read, “Please do not attempt to re shelve books.  Place them on the table or return them to the front desk.”  At first I thought, “Odd.”  Then I found myself saying over and over and over, “Wait.  Where did you get that?  Put that back?  Where did that one come from?  No.  Put it back.”  The onslaught was dizzying.  In a matter of three minutes we had a pile of close to twenty books, no two of which came from the same shelf.  The twins were in rare form.  Truly, an amazing display of destruction and mayhem.   At one point during the blur I noticed a ladybug glove puppet.  My salvation.  That puppet was the only thing I found that would keep their attention long enough to stop the clearing of the shelves.  The downside–their volume level increased probably ten fold.  There is nothing quite like the squeals and laughter from two small children that are being chased and tickled by a ladybug glove puppet, unless of course those squeals and laughter are wafting through the silent almost reverent air of your local library.  Then it’s a little bit uncomfortable.  In my defense, the puppet was library property.  If they didn’t want my kids screaming with joy at their newfound favorite plaything they should have put the puppet in the insect section not the kids play area.  I am reminded of the sign I saw upon entering the library.  “Please turn cell phone ringers to vibrate.”  I guess that’s because when your kids are screaming and laughing while attacking a ladybug there’s no way you’re really going to hear the phone ring.  At least on vibrate you’ll be able to get your call.

By this time a small crowd was beginning to gather.  No, they weren’t coming after me, but they were staring.  Other parents were showing up with their own well behaved and reverently whispering in your best library voice children.  Clearly not their first visit.  These people were organized and on a mission. They came with snacks, strollers, juice bottles, backpacks–the works.   We just showed up. “Let’s pick out 2 books, little Johnny.  Then we can sit quietly and read them at the table before going to story time.”

“Uhmm, you’ll probably want to use that table over there.  My two have already filled this one to capacity and there’s a good chance that there’s slobber on most of the chairs.”

And another thing.  I am sure that  I’ve done this exact same thing but I suppose I just didn’t realize how absurd it really sounds until I heard it from another parent.  (Mother to little Johnny)  “Oh, look.  A horse—ney, ney!”  What?!  Are you kidding me?!  Do we really sound that silly?  Why, as parents, do we feel the need to associate an animal and it’s given voice any time a reference is made to it during conversation with a toddler?  “Wow, look over there.  It’s a pig–oink, oink.”  (Pointing out of the window on a drive)  “Cows!!—moo, moo.”  We live in a rural area and many in these parts have taken to farming llamas.  “Look.  Llamas—lllaaamma face!!!”   I guess you had to see the movie.  Then, of course,  the inevitable.  A chorus of Old MacDonald.   Also, since when does a horse say ney, ney?  All I’ve ever heard a horse say is…..”plbbbbbsh” (mane shaking)  And you thought I was going to say, “Oh, Wilbur…”

Next came the big announcement.  It’s story time!  Whispered yeahs and cheers.  The twins screamed.  Loudly.  We all filed into a nice sound proof room at the front of the library where a very nice and patient library worker read stories to the children and sang songs.  The twins stayed in the back of the room and rearranged the furniture.  In their defense, the layout was all wrong.  It needed rearranging.  We didn’t last long in the soundproof chamber of storyville.  By this time, I felt it best we work our way back to the front door.

For some odd reason, I felt I should make a quick stop at the information desk to inquire about a membership card.  The nice lady behind the desk politely said, “Yessss.  Well, let me see. There are some forms to fill out.  Please feel free to take one.”  I glanced at my watch to see if I had time to fill it out before I left.  “Oh, there’s no need to fill it out here.  Take it with you……Please.”  At that very moment, Zander proudly handed me the saliva soaked book he had removed from the display stand at the checkout desk.  “Yesssss,” I said.  “I think I will take it with me.”