Little m Long a

I feel that I have become the subject of a Dali painting, if just for the day.  Not in the weird sexual way that is often depicted in his works–if that was the case I would probably not be sharing that with you here.  Well, maybe I would.  No.  No, I would not.  What I am feeling today is more of the genre—surrealism.  Yes, that’s it.  Surreal would be the word that best describes me this Monday morning.

Our babysitters (yes plural, as in both of them.  Hey, I’ve got five kids.  It takes a village and all that crap!)  Anyway, our babysitters wanted to take the kids to the zoo today as a big, almost end of summer blowout.  Who am I to argue?  They arrived this morning about 8:30 to pick up five very excited little children and off to the zoo they went.

I had had to drive Maura to work as her recently repaired car seems to have been not so repaired after all.  I returned home to an empty house and absolutely no agenda.  I’ve got all day to myself.  You see—surreal.

So just what am I going to do with all of this free time?  I’ll give you a little breakdown of my day so far.

1. Changed the sheets on the bed.
2. Sorted the laundry, folded two loads and started another.
3. Downloaded some pictures from the camera–deleted some others that had been there since last Christmas.
4. Repaired a seam in the wall paper in the stairwell that has been growing larger for some time.
5. Cleaned out the filters in our window unit air conditioners.
6. Put some new inserts in my sneakers.

And it’s only 10:30!!

And people say I don’t know how to have fun anymore.  After lunch, I just may take a shower and clip my toenails.  It just doesn’t get any better than this.  But you know what is best of all?

I haven’t said “No!” or “Stop That!” a single time today.  Surreal indeed.

I have spent the better part of this morning begrudgingly sorting through and folding the mounds–literally mounds–of clean laundry.  I readily admit that folding and putting away said folded laundry is far down my list of things I enjoy doing each day.  Truth be told, it’s not even on the list, unless that list would be the list of things I absolutely despise doing but I do anyway because it’s in the job description that I, like a fool, failed to read before signing up for this gig.

I came to a few realizations this morning,  First, my wife was right (how many times you gonna hear that, Honey?).  My obsession with kids wearing socks during the summer has got to stop.  I despise folding the whitewash and socks just add to that pile.  The kids don’t keep a pair of socks on for a full day anyway.  If they do make it through the day, they are so full of dirt and grime that there is not a washer or detergent made that will ever sufficiently clean them. And lastly, the ones that actually do make it to the laundry basket are never matched.  I’ve got a basket of singles that is literally overflowing.  Must be over 40 socks in there and not a single one matches another.   Here’s to summer sandals!

Next.  What exactly is “like-colors”?  I’ve got a couple shirts with no fewer than seven different colors in them and the washing instructions indicate that I should wash them with like-colors.  The one time I was able to produce two similar shirts in the same laundry load one wanted warm water with like colors the other wanted cold.  There’s no way!  I’m not about to set aside an entire load for a single shirt.  And before you get any ideas–I’m not going to hand wash it either.  I took my chances–they got cold.  (I now have two very similar shirts with no fewer than 3 different colors.)

Here’s another thing.  Exposing a folded garment in a dresser drawer to the ambient air in the room does not make that garment dirty and in need of a wash!  In the folding today were three long sleeve t-shirts and two sweaters.  Sweaters!!! It’s the middle of July.  We haven’t worn sweaters around here for months.  So why does it end up in the laundry?  Jeez.  If you take it out of the drawer and decide not to wear it, fold it back up and put it back in the drawer!

Good Lord!  I’ve just ranted about laundry.  Again!  I feel I may need to go outside and do something a little bit more dude like, manly, testosterone fueled!  You know, to re-validate the man card.  I saw some weeds in my rose bushes.  Maybe I’ll go tackle those pesky little boogers!