Spiders, Seals, Petrolatum, Gingerbread Houses and Blood–Oh, and Santa Sucks!
You suck, Santa!! Seriously, what is wrong with you?
My wife hit me last night. Hard. Sucker punched really, for I was sound asleep. She used a book. Check that. She used a Bible. She said it was a spider and it was coming towards her. I asked her if it was coming towards her then how is was that she happened to hit me? She just smiled and rolled back over. I’ve got a bruise on my leg in the shape of a cross and I’m walking with a slight limp this morning. I suppose I should be thankful that the “spider” wasn’t crawling near my head–or worse.
That was around 2:30 am. About an hour later a seal woke me up. I curly headed seal, crying and feverish. Said she didn’t feel well. Maura took her downstairs for some medicine and returned a few minutes later to inform me that she feels better now, oh and she threw up all over the kitchen floor.
